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O.Henry
OnhisbenchinMadisonSquareSoaymoveduneasily.Whenwildgeesehonkhighofnights,andwhenwomenwithoutsealskincoatsgrowkindtotheirhusbands,andwhenSoaymovesuneasilyonhisbenchintheark,youmayknowthatwinterisnearathand.
AdeadleaffellinSoay&aos;sla.ThatwasJackFrost&aos;scard.JackiskindtotheregulardenizensofMadisonSquare,andgivesfairwarningofhisannualcall.AtthecornersoffourstreetshehandshisasteboardtotheNorthWind,footmanofthemansionofAllOutdoors,sothattheinhabitantsthereofmaymakeready.
Soay&aos;smindbecamecognisantofthefactthatthetimehadcomeforhimtoresolvehimselfintoasingularCommitteeofWaysandMeanstorovideagainstthecomingrigour.Andthereforehemoveduneasilyonhisbench.
ThehibernatorialambitionsofSoaywerenotofthehighest.InthemwerenoconsiderationsofMediterraneancruises,ofsoorificSouthernskiesordriftingintheVesuvianBay.ThreemonthsontheIslandwaswhathissoulcraved.Threemonthsofassuredboardandbedandcongenialcomany,safefromBoreasandbluecoats,seemedtoSoaytheessenceofthingsdesirable.
ForyearsthehositableBlackwell&aos;shadbeenhiswinterquarters.JustashismorefortunatefellowNewYorkershadboughttheirticketstoPalmBeachandtheRivieraeachwinter,soSoayhadmadehishumblearrangementsforhisannualhegiratotheIsland.Andnowthetimewascome.OnthereviousnightthreeSabbathnewsaers,distributedbeneathhiscoat,abouthisanklesandoverhisla,hadfailedtoreulsethecoldashesletonhisbenchnearthesurtingfountainintheancientsquare.SotheIslandloomedlargeandtimelyinSoay&aos;smind.Hescornedtherovisionsmadeinthenameofcharityforthecity&aos;sdeendents.InSoay&aos;soiniontheLawwasmorebenignthanPhilanthroy.Therewasanendlessroundofinstitutions,municialandeleemosynary,onwhichhemightsetoutandreceivelodgingandfoodaccordantwiththesimlelife.ButtooneofSoay&aos;sroudsiritthegiftsofcharityareencumbered.Ifnotincoinyoumustayinhumiliationofsiritforeverybenefitreceivedatthehandsofhilanthroy.AsCaesarhadhisBrutus,everybedofcharitymusthaveitstollofabath,everyloafofbreaditscomensationofarivateandersonalinquisition.Whereforeitisbettertobeaguestofthelaw,whichthoughconductedbyrules,doesnotmeddleundulywithagentleman&aos;srivateaffairs.
Soay,havingdecidedtogototheIsland,atoncesetaboutaccomlishinghisdesire.Thereweremanyeasywaysofdoingthis.Theleasantestwastodineluxuriouslyatsomeexensiverestaurant;andthen,afterdeclaringinsolvency,behandedoverquietlyandwithouturoartoaoliceman.Anaccommodatingmagistratewoulddotherest.
Soaylefthisbenchandstrolledoutofthesquareandacrossthelevelseaofashalt,whereBroadwayandFifthAvenueflowtogether.UBroadwayheturned,andhaltedataglitteringcafé,wherearegatheredtogethernightlythechoicestroductsofthegrae,thesilkwormandtherotolasm.
Soayhadconfidenceinhimselffromthelowestbuttonofhisvestuward.Hewasshaven,andhiscoatwasdecentandhisneatblack,ready-tiedfour-in-handhadbeenresentedtohimbyaladymissionaryonThanksgivingDay.Ifhecouldreachatableintherestaurantunsusected,successwouldbehis.Theortionofhimthatwouldshowabovethetablewouldraisenodoubtinthewaiter&aos;smind.Aroastedmallardduck,thoughtSoay,wouldbeaboutthething-withabottleofChablis,andthenCamembert,ademi-tasseandacigar.Onedollarforthecigarwouldbeenough.Thetotalwouldnotbesohighastocallforthanysurememanifestationofrevengefromthecafémanagement;andyetthemeatwouldleavehimfilledandhayforthejourneytohiswinterrefuge.
ButasSoaysetfootinsidetherestaurantdoortheheadwaiter&aos;seyefelluonhisfrayedtrousersanddecadentshoes.Strongandreadyhandsturnedhimaboutandconveyedhiminsilenceandhastetothesidewalkandavertedtheignoblefateofthemenacedmallard.
SoayturnedoffBroadway.Itseemedthathisroutetothecovetedislandwasnottobeaneicureanone.Someotherwayofenteringlimbomustbethoughtof.
AtacornerofSixthAvenueelectriclightsandcunninglydislayedwaresbehindlate-glassmadeashowindowconsicuous.Soaytookacobblestoneanddasheditthroughtheglass.Peolecamerunningroundthecorner,aolicemaninthelead.Soaystoodstill,withhishandsinhisockets,andsmiledatthesightofbrassbuttons.
"Where&aos;sthemanthatdonethat?
"inquiredtheofficer,excitedly.
"Don&aos;tyoufigureoutthatImighthavehadsomethingtodowithit?
"saidSoay,notwithoutsarcasm,butfriendly,asonegreetsgoodfortune.
Theoliceman&aos;smindrefusedtoaccetSoayevenasaclue.Menwhosmashwindowsdonotremaintoarleywiththelaw&aos;sminions.Theytaketotheirheels.Theolicemansawamanhalfwaydowntheblockrunningtocatchacar.Withdrawnclubhejoinedintheursuit.Soay,withdisgustinhisheart,loafedalong,twiceunsuccessful.
Ontheoositesideofthestreetwasarestaurantofnogreatretensions.Itcateredtolargeaetitesandmodesturses.Itscrockeryandatmosherewerethick;itssouandnaerythin.IntothislaceSoaytookhisaccusiveshoesandtelltaletrouserswithoutchallenge.Atatablehesatandconsumedbeefsteak,flajacks,doughnutsandie.Andthentothewaiterhebetrayedthefactthattheminutestcoinandhimselfwerestrangers.
"Now,getbusyandcallaco,
"saidSoay.
"Anddon&aos;tkeeagentlemanwaiting.
"
"Nocoforyouse,
"saidthewaiter,withavoicelikebuttercakesandaneyelikethecherryinaManhattancocktail.
"Hey,Con!
"
NeatlyuonhisleftearonthecallousavementtwowaitersitchedSoay.Hearosejointbyjoint,asacarenter&aos;sruleoens,andbeatthedustfromhisclothes.Arrestseemedbutarosydream.TheIslandseemedveryfaraway.Aolicemanwhostoodbeforeadrugstoretwodoorsawaylaughedandwalkeddownthestreet.
FiveblocksSoaytravelledbeforehiscourageermittedhimtowoocatureagain.Thistimetheoortunityresentedwhathefatuouslytermedtohimselfa
"cinch.
"Ayoungwomanofamodestandleasingguisewasstandingbeforeashowwindowgazingwithsrightlyinterestatitsdislayofshavingmugsandinkstands,andtwoyardsfromthewindowalargeolicemanofseveredemeanourleanedagainstawaterlug.
ItwasSoay&aos;sdesigntoassumetheroleofthedesicableandexecrated
"masher.
"Therefinedandelegantaearanceofhisvictimandthecontiguityoftheconscientiouscoencouragedhimtobelievethathewouldsoonfeeltheleasantofficialclutchuonhisarmthatwouldinsurehiswinterquartersoftherightlittle,tightlittleisle.
Soaystraightenedtheladymissionary&aos;sready-madetie,draggedhisshrinkingcuffsintotheoen,sethishatatakillingcantandsidledtowardtheyoungwomen.Hemadeeyesather,wastakenwithsuddencoughsand
"hems,
"smiled,smirked,andwentbrazenlythroughtheimudentandcontemtiblelitanyofthe
"masher.
"WithhalfaneyeSoaysawthattheolicemanwaswatchinghimfixedly.Theyoungwomanmovedawayafewstes,andagainbestowedherabsorbedattentionuontheshavingmugs.Soayfollowed,boldlysteingtoherside,raisedhishatandsaid:
"Ahthere,Bedelia!Don&aos;tyouwanttocomeandlayinmyyard?
"
Theolicemanwasstilllooking.TheersecutedyoungwomanhadbuttobeckonafingerandSoaywouldberacticallyenrouteforhisinsularhaven.Alreadyheimaginedhecouldfeelthecosywarmthofthestation-house.Theyoungwomanfacedhimand,stretchingoutahand,caughtSoay&aos;scoatsleeve.
"Sure,Mike,
