第19章 Running for Governor (第1/2页)

吴文智主编提示您：看后求收藏（宜小说jmvip3.com），接着再看更方便。

arkTwain

AfewmonthsagoIwasnominatedforGovernorofthegreatstateofNewYork,torunagainstMr.JohnT.SmithandMr.BlankJ.Blankonanindeendentticket.IsomehowfeltthatIhadonerominentadvantageoverthesegentlemen,andthatwas-goodcharacter.Itwaseasytoseebythenewsaersthatifevertheyhadknownwhatitwastobearagoodname,thattimehadgoneby.Itwaslainthatintheselatteryearstheyhadbecomefamiliarwithallmannerofshamefulcrimes.ButattheverymomentthatIwasexaltingmyadvantageandjoyinginitinsecret,therewasamuddyundercurrentofdiscomfort

"riling

"thedeesofmyhainess,andthatwas-thehavingtohearmynamebandiedaboutinfamiliarconnectionwiththoseofsucheole.Igrewmoreandmoredisturbed.FinallyIwrotemygrandmotheraboutit.Heranswercamequickandshar.Shesaid:Youhaveneverdoneonesinglethinginallyourlifetobeashamedof-notone.Lookatthenewsaers-lookatthemandcomrehendwhatsortofcharactersMessrs.SmithandBlankare,andthenseeifyouarewillingtoloweryourselftotheirlevelandenteraubliccanvasswiththem.

Itwasmyverythought!Ididnotsleeasinglemomentthatnight.But,afterall,Icouldnotrecede.

Iwasfullycommitted,andmustgoonwiththefight.

AsIwaslookinglistlesslyovertheaersatbreakfastIcameacrossthisaragrah,andImaytrulysayIneverwassoconfoundedbefore.

PERJURY.-Perhas,nowthatMr.MarkTwainisbeforetheeoleasacandidateforGovernor,hewillcondescendtoexlainhowhecametobeconvictedoferjurybythirty-fourwitnessesinWakawak,CochinChina,in1863,theintentofwhicherjurybeingtorobaoornativewidowandherhellessfamilyofameagerlantain-atch,theironlystayandsuortintheirbereavementanddesolation.

Mr.Twainowesittohimself,aswellastothegreateolewhosesuffragesheasks,toclearthismatteru.Willhedoit?

IthoughtIshouldburstwithamazement!Suchacruel,heartlesscharge!IneverhadseenCochinChina!IneverhadheardofWakawak!Ididn&aos;tknowalantain-atchfromakangaroo!Ididnotknowwhattodo.Iwascrazedandhelless.Iletthedaysliawaywithoutdoinganythingatall.Thenextmorningthesameaerhadhis-nothingmore:

SIGNIFICANT.-Mr.Twain,itwillbeobserved,issuggestivelysilentabouttheCochinChinaerjury.

[Mem.-Duringtherestofthecamaignthisaerneverreferredtomeinanyotherwaythanas

"theinfamouserjurerTwain

".

NextcametheGazette,withthis:

WANTEDTOKNOW-WillthenewcandidateforGovernordeigntoexlaintocertainofhisfellow-citizenswhoaresufferingtovoteforhim!thelittlecircumstanceofhiscabin-matesinMontanalosingsmallvaluablesfromtimetotime,untilatlast,thesethingshavingbeeninvariablyfoundonMr.Twain&aos;sersonorinhis

"trunk

"(newsaerherolledhistrasin),theyfeltcomelledtogivehimafriendlyadmonitionforhisowngood,andsotarredandfeatheredhim,androdehimonarail;andthenadvisedhimtoleaveaermanentvacuuminthelaceheusuallyoccuiedinthecam.Willhedothis?

Couldanythingbemoredeliberatelymaliciousthanthat?ForIneverwasinMontanainmylife.[Afterthis,thisjournalcustomarilysokeofmeas,

"Twain,theMontanaThief.

"]

Igottoickinguaersarehensively-muchasonewouldliftadesiredblanketwhichhehadsomeideamighthavearattlesnakeunderit.

Onedaythismetmyeye:

THELIENAILED.-BytheswornaffidavitsofMichaelO&aos;Flanagan,Esq.,oftheFivePoints,andMr.SnubRaffertyandMr.CattyMulligan,ofWaterStreet,itisestablishedthatMr.MarkTwain&aos;svilestatementthatthelamentedgrandfatherofournoblestandard-bearer,BlankJ.Blank,washangedforhighwayrobbery,isabrutalandgratuitousLIE,withoutashadowoffoundationinfact.Itisdishearteningtovirtuousmentoseesuchshamefulmeansresortedtoachieveoliticalsuccessastheattackingofthedeadintheirgraves,anddefilingtheirhonorednameswithslander.Whenwethinkoftheanguishthismiserablefalsehoodmustcausetheinnocentrelativesandfriendsofthedeceased,wearealmostdriventoinciteanoutragedandinsultedublictosummaryandunlawfulvengeanceuonthetraducer.Butno!letusleavehimtotheagonyofalaceratedconscience(thoughifassionshouldgetthebetteroftheublic,andinitsblindfurytheyshoulddothetraducerbodilyinjury,itisbuttooobviousthatnojurycouldconvictandnocourtunishtheeretratorsofthedeed).

Theingeniousclosingsentencehadtheeffectofmovingmeoutofbedwithdesatchthatnight,andoutatthebackdooralso,whilethe

"outragedandinsultedublic

"surgedinthefrontway,breakingfurnitureandwindowsintheirrighteousindignationastheycame,andtakingoffsuchroertyastheycouldcarrywhentheywent.AndyetIcanlaymyhanduontheBookandsaythatIneverslanderedMr.Blank&aos;sgrandfather.More:Ihadneverevenheardofhimormentionedhimutothatdayanddate.

[Iwillstate,inassing,thatthejournalabovequotedfromalwaysreferredtomeafterwardas

"Twain,theBody-Snatcher.

"]

Thenextnewsaerarticlethatattractedmyattentionwasthefollowing:

ASWEETCANDIDATE.-Mr.MarkTwain,whowastomakesuchablightingseechatthemass-meetingoftheIndeendentslastnight,didn&aos;tcometotime!Atelegramfromhishysicianstatedthathehadbeenknockeddownbyarunawayteam,andhislegbrokenintwolaces-suffererlyingingreatagony,andsoforth,andsoforth,andalotmoreboshofthesamesort.AndtheIndeendentstriedhardtoswallowthewretchedsubterfuge,andretendthattheydidnotknowwhatwastherealreasonoftheabsenceoftheabandonedcreaturewhomtheydenominatetheirstandard-bearer.AcertainmanwasseentoreelintoMr.Twain&aos;shotellastnightinastateofbeastlyintoxication.ItistheimerativedutyoftheIndeendentstorovethatthisbesottedbrutewasnotMarkTwainhimself.Wehavethematlast!Thisisacasethatadmitsofnoshirking.Thevoiceoftheeoledemandsinthundertones,

"WHOWASTHATMAN?